For lack of an adequate description I call myself a chaos magician.
All my life I’ve interested myself with something I never even give a name to, since all the labels seem to slip off. Tao, God, Chaos, Void, Eheieh, whatever the name, we made it up in our own image.
Or at least part of that image.
So I have fewer beliefs than unbeliefs. I don’t even believe that the whatever-I’m-talking-about “is” an object, a thing, a referent to any noun. I have experimented with it as a verb, an adjective, even as various prepositions, and all seem equally true and equally false. So I eventually created an arbitrary formula, “fuck-knows-what”, numerologically reduced to “625” and implanted in my chosen name. I feel myself called, summoned, my attention required by “625”. I feel myself drawn to explore this mystery, this ever-expanding, always-eluding consciousness. This call I characterise by the given phrase “Kaitŵm“. Hence my chosen name, Kaitŵm.625. My fellow occultists refer to me by the more pronounceable version, “the Kite.”
With a Catholic upbringing, I grew up accustomed to the possibility of mysticism and miracles. With mysticism reserved for the cloistered, I read not only those but also Buddhist and Hindu-inspired works on meditation and so forth. With miracles reserved largely for saints I went to the Pentecostals to observe them and learn to do likewise. And so I created the first and last Catholic Pentecostal on the block, to the consternation of both sides. And I learned the joy of experiencing in myself several contradictory belief systems at once, and cured myself of the illusion of the single right answer.
I’ve always read widely, and during my studies in philosophy discovered the therapeutic methods of Ludwig Wittgenstein, who (rarely amongst philosophers) sought to “battle the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.” His asystematic philosophical approach inspired me greatly.
I also explored Taoist philosophy via Alan Watts and Bruce Lee, which destroyed my artificial requirements for spiritual practices and saving the world. Through such means I first experienced the blessed relief of dropping belief systems wholesale.
I had taken up martial arts in the Chinese tradition, inspired by Bruce Lee and his evolving non-system, non-style methodology which he called his Jeet Kune Do. I sought arts which reflected the values he sought, of effectiveness (getting the job done) efficiency (getting it done with the greatest economy), and individual evolution (developing myself as my art, with no masters and no Way). Finding that our mind controls our body, I conceived renewed interest in psychology. Not wanting to embroil myself in belief systems again, I went for what I found to be an effective, efficient, and evolving methodology – NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). I consider it the Jeet Kune Do of the mind.
Some years ago, as part of one of my regular metamorphoses, I chose to take up magic. Spurning such elaborate belief systems as bestrew the magical scene, and which I long ago outgrew, I chose the methodology of chaos magic. I consider it the Jeet Kune Do of magic.
Over time I became a stalwart figure in my local pagan scene, an Initiate in the Illuminates of Thanateros, the world’s premier chaos magic organisation, and a teacher at the Arcanorium online magical college. I give workshops and lead rituals when it seems like a good idea. I am an Awenydd of the Anglesey Druid Order and I am a Bard in training with the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids. I am to be found on Facebook as Alyster Austin.
I do not lightly enter online debates, simply because I long ago wearied of argument that wins points but not hearts. I prefer instead to hear uplifting accounts of others’ accomplishments in the field, and willingly contribute my own.
Taking no-thing as true
taking allthings as permissible
taking no way as way
taking no limitation as limitation
absorbing the useful
rejecting the useless
adding the product of our own Genius
and embodying the PanDaimonAion,